Wow need to get back into posting on here!

Loads of things have happened since I lasted posted on here!

I’m now 18, and engaged! – I had the most amazing birthday and I got to spend the weekend after it celebrating with Scott!

Christmas is just round the corner – I have got all my presents and they’re all wrapped! I’m so excited about it! Me and Scott are going to have our own little Christmas when he comes to stay which I’m really excited about!

I’m about to start my first charity challenge, you can read about it here http://www.justgiving.com/esjaeofficial.

I will post here more!

Love, Stacey xx

Busy day today

Yesterday I was at work all day, I ended up feeling so tired because I wasn’t used to it. It was quite quiet really. They had put me on the rota for next Saturday but luckily Becka has agreed to work it for me. We got to finish work early too which was a bit of a bonus – although it does mean we’re going to lose some money…

Me and Scott have been together for 19 months today, I’m so lucky to have him and I can’t wait to spend my birthday celebrating it with him.

This next week is going to be amazing I’m really looking forward to it.

Today I’m going to see my Nan and Granddad, then going to do some filming for my media coursework, and at some point I need to finish sorting out my caravan.

Love, Stacey xx

Crazy day

Yesterday was crazy busy…

I forgot my keys and then I had a flat tyre so I only just made it to my first lesson on time.

Media was a bit of a disaster we were told our music video was rubbish and we needed to film loads of new footage to improve it, which we don’t have to time to do! But I’m going to have to fit it in at some point this weekend!

The rest of yesterday was pretty much a rush to get my UCAS application into my tutor – I didn’t think I would be that bothered about doing it but I was, maybe that’s a hint at what I want?

I have been thinking about uni, I know I want to go – I means I’ll be closer to Scott, and will give me better options in the future which will give me the chance of a better job. Plus I’ll get long holidays and Scott would be able to stay with me… plus it’s not that long to go, only 10/11 months but 7/8 till I finish college.

Business last lesson was pretty good, I even got asked to help on open evening but I can’t because it’s on my birthday, it’s a shame because it would have been good to add to my CV.

Last night me and Scott had a really good chat, I can’t wait for next weekend – I just wish it was longer than a couple of days!

I’ll post about today tonight – I was just too tired to write anything last night.

Oh yeah there is new portraits of various celebrities on my facebook page, Danny from McFly, Cheryl Cole, Chris Brown and a couple of others -  go and check it out:

https://www.facebook.com/theesjaeofficial 

Love, Stacey x

Ill

Not had too great a day today… But it has been good in some ways!

I had to ride my bike to college today with a flat tyre which wasn’t so fun because it made it so much hard work and took way longer than the journey should have been.

Business lesson today was okay, I got a little bit bored with it because, we were talking about legal stuff and unions and I’m not too interested in that.

In my 4 hour free I got my lunch (a sausage roll and a chocolate muffin), watched the only way is Essex because I needed to catch up on the last two episodes (I love team Jerk) and I had a nice catch up with Lizzie and Abbey – I haven’t seen either of them in ages!

My last lesson was ICT we did two worksheets and then we got to go home which wasn’t too bad and because I had a flat tyre my Mum and Dad came and picked me up which was pretty good!

Since I’ve been at home I’ve spoken to Scott (we were going to have a proper conversation tonight but he’s been too interested in vampire diaries) I’m glad we’re good again and have sorted everything out, and we’re so close to being normal again! I had a family dinner tonight which doesn’t usually happen normally we all eat at different times so it was good to all sit down together. I drew a portrait of Dobby from Harry Potter as well – it didn’t take me too long and the result is pretty good!

https://www.facebook.com/theesjaeofficial#!/theesjaeofficial << you can see it there!

Think it’s just about time for bed, got another long day tomorrow! A week tomorrow me and Scott will be together again, I’m so looking forward to it, hopefully we’re going to the cinema together, if not we can watch dvds and cuddle up at mine, then we’re going shopping together, going for dinner with my family – next weekend is going to be so good! I really do love spending time with Scott!

Love, Stacey xx

It’s been a while

I haven’t written on here in nearly a month! I didn’t mean to neglect this blog but things just got really busy…

Well I spent most of the month working, it was good fun really I enjoy working and it means I have some money to actually put away and save and some money for shopping next weekend!

A week today and I’m going to be 18! It’s crazy how much has happened over those 18 years – If I’m honest I didn’t think I would still be here today… I’m looking forward to celebrating it with Scott and my family.

Half term was great I got to spend the whole week with Scott. We went on our second holiday together. His family invited me on their canal boat holiday, I’ve never been on a canal boat before and I really enjoyed it. I got to go ringing again too which I haven’t done in ages and I’m hoping to get back into over the next couple of weeks.

Last night things happened between us. I saw something that I thought I would never see and it really hurt me, but it did make me realise how much Scott does mean to me and how I want our relationship to be forever, he’s the only one who has ever made me this happy. Last night after I fell asleep I woke up in the early hours of the morning and I went to put my arms around Scott and cuddle up but then I remember where I was and that Scott wasn’t next to me like he has been for last week. It really upset me because after everything that was said I just wanted a cuddle and to hear him tell me everything is going to be okay.

The moments that mean the most to me are the ones we can only relive in our minds…

I made a really good pumpkin for Halloween it looked like a lion.

I’m thinking of leaving college because I’m not enjoying it anymore, I want to be closer to Scott as well, I want to be earning my own money and to be independent. I want me and Scott to have the relationship we should have, that I know we can have.

I wasn’t looking forward to my 18th but I am now because of how close it is and the fact that I can celebrate it with Scott, it will make it even more special – and I can’t wait for him to meet my family.

Since yesterday my throat has been hurting and it’s been getting worse so that it now hurts to swallow, I hope it isn’t tonsillitis – last time I had it I couldn’t eat or sleep for ages.

I want the next week to hurry up so I can spend more time with Scott. I can’t wait to go shopping with him.

Love Stacey xx

Bit mixed up

Today has been a bit of a mixed day really.

I feel so alone at the moment: At college – all of my mates are in couples or have ‘crushes’  and are all tied up in their own thing. With Scott – he’s achieving so much with his football I feel like I’m letting him down because I haven’t really achieved anything in the whole time we’ve been together, he’s always raising money for a charity, working, playing football for his college team… doing so much and I’m proud of everything he’s done but me, I’m doing nothing. No wonder he called me a loner on the phone today…

The good point in my day – my signed Alan Sugar book arrived… But I won’t reading it any time soon because I have too much work to do.

Family won’t talk to me about anything they’re all to busy doing their own thing.

Me and Scott hardly get to talk anymore, either I’m working, he’s out with his mates, I’m doing college work, he’s doing college work, he’s playing football… it’s so hard to just have a conversation anymore.

I wish I felt like I had close friends like I used to but ever since I started college I haven’t felt like I’m close to anyone there anymore.

I wish I could do something –to make people (my family & Scott) proud of me. To make them notice and not think I’m a waste of space.

Part of me wants to cancel my 18th and just forget about it all… What’s the point in celebrating when I have no one to celebrate with – I was meant to sort out going for a meal with my mates but, I don’t really know if I want to. I don’t see the point in going out to celebrate with my family either when I hardly talk to them anyway…

Love, Stacey xxx

So close but yet so far…

I found a piece of software that give you countdown clocks on your desktop – it’s really great…

19 days until me and Scott see each other in half term

36 days until I’m 18

38 days until Scott stays at mine for the weekend after my 18th

39 days until my birthday meal

I thought it was a pretty neat invention!

Today I decided I need to start eating a bit more healthily because at the moment all I’m doing is eating junk and it’s starting to show because for the first time in my life I’ve put on weight…. I look horrible now…

Not a lot has happened really today, I was at college until 12.20 and then I got to go home. I’ve been trying to catch up with all my work that I’m behind on, so far I’m not even half way through.

This is what taking two lessons off ill does…

Me and Scott are still getting better each day – I miss him so much, but we’re so close to seeing each other – I really can’t wait… I love him so much. I still feel really guilty for how I treated him yesterday and what I said… I just want to spend some time together, just me and him – no one else, just us.

Love, Stacey xxxx